Terms & Conditions

Welcome to smOl capital's legally binding but surprisingly readable terms.

1. The €1000 Rule

The maximum investment is €1000 per person. That's it. We don't care if you're a billionaire or the inventor of crypto. €1000 is €1000. If you try to invest more by creating multiple accounts, we'll find out and combine them. Not because we're mad, but because it defeats the whole point.

2. Risk Acknowledgment

By investing with smOl capital, you acknowledge that this is high-risk. Like, extremely high-risk. There's a very real possibility you'll lose your entire €1000. That's the game. If you can't afford to lose €1000, please don't invest with us.

3. No Guarantees

We do not guarantee returns. We do not promise 10x. We aim for 10x. We work for 10x. We strategize for 10x. But we can't guarantee it. Anyone who guarantees returns is either lying or running a Ponzi scheme.

4. Your Money, Our Decisions

You're trusting us with your €1000. We'll make investment decisions for the fund as a whole. You don't get a vote on individual investments. That's the deal. We'll be transparent about what we're doing, but we maintain full discretion.

5. You Can't Pull Out Early

Once you're in, you're in for the duration of the investment period. No early withdrawals. Think of your €1000 as gone the moment you invest it. If it comes back multiplied, great! If not, well, you knew the risks.

6. Memes Don't Equal Financial Advice

We use humor, memes, and casual language to communicate. None of this constitutes financial advice. Our jokes are not legally binding promises. Our tweets are not financial forecasts. See our Meme Disclaimer for more details.

7. Tax Stuff Is Your Problem

You're responsible for any taxes on your investments. We're not tax advisors. We'll provide the documentation you need, but figuring out what to do with it is on you.